FAIL

Umm. Yeah. I've been so much FAIL lately. I haven't been writing or doing much of anything creative, but I did join this roleplaying game of my friend's. I posted my first game today and it's kind of exciting. I might start writing short stories about my character (unrelated to the game) on another blog. Let's hope I can manage that. It would be nice to actually write something for a change.

I might abandon this blog entirely. It's not like anyone even reads this.

Uhh... long time no see, huh?

So, I've been depressed for a while now and it has really dampened everything in my life. I haven't seen my friends, I have only barely managed to get my ass to work... things have been really shitty for a while. But finally, I'm getting better. At least I don't feel so gloomy anymore. I'm still avoiding people and social situations due to my anxiety (even doctors who could actually help me...) but now I'm really a lot better. I don't wish for death anymore, I just want to take my time and persuade myself into things that I know are uncomfortable. And I did decide to quit writing altogether... I know I had support and some lovely people told me they want to read my stuff but I just do not feel I can finish it. It was like a dark cloud over my head. I feel so much better now that I don't feel like I should try to write because I promised someone. I'm very glad I never posted the chapters I had ready... It would only disappoint people and I don't want to do that. Besides, I'm not that good so no loss there. Maybe some day...

I do have loads of plot bunnies that I kinda hate because I can't write them... and I know they have potential, if someone talented enough writes them... They torment me sometimes... :P

Also, I've discovered Harry Potter fanfic lately and it has kinda obsessed me. Who would've thought? :D Love HP/DM... So far my favorite author has been Lomonaaeren. She's got some really amazing and very original fics. I love it.

Now I'm gonna read some more of Inter Vivos by Lomonaaeren and then PTFO because I'm sick with flu and I've been drinking too many hot toddies. Lol.

Okay. End of rant about stupid things I can't do anything about.

I'm still alive

Oh dear, it's been ages since I've written anything. And by anything I mean it's been hard to write even a letter, not to mention something to do with creative stuff. I haven't even made anything crafty, really. Except a "JASPER SAYS RELAX" tote bag for TwistedInMasen. But that's what depression does to me, destroys all creativity and pretty much interest in anything. For a while I didn't even want to get up in the morning and ended up sleeping 12-14 hours per day and started avoiding my friends. Even my boyfriend noticed I forgot to eat and didn't go out unless I really had to. Sooo, I didn't really feel like writing at all.

But hey, I'm still alive and I'm a lot better now. Slowly getting my creativity back too, so maybe I'll finish that story of mine some day. Too bad I have some distracting plot bunnies running around I know I can't write into a full story. *le sigh*