OMG, Twitter!

I'm on Twitter. Why am I this easy to coax into things that are mostly useless and time consuming? And then when I get stuck there just by myself because, let's face it, I have no friends in the Interwebz (okay, I'm talking about anyone ff-related, who might actually understand me), I get sad. I'm so lame. (Yeah, come find me, I go by mechanical_rain and I need company. Pathetic, much?)

Tonight I've actually tried to write a little but it doesn't go smoothly. I'm so damn frustrated at the moment. >_< ARGH! And I'm also frustrated because I couldn't get my Twitter background image like I wanted to. Why am I so incompetent and useless?! SHIT! And I'm wearing my boyfriend's t-shirt + plaid button down. They smell like YSL Opium. <3 I look like a fucking hipster. :P

I read the latest two chapters of Just Wait by InstanKarmaGirl and it made me cry. It's an amazingly well written, absolutely heartwrenching story. I've loved every single chapter although it really is an emotional rollercoaster. Or more like a some sort of funky vortex of angst and complicated love. I think the last two or three chapters really reached a new low, emotionally. The shit just hit the fan. I'm almost holding my breath waiting for the next chapter. I should just bow down and worship InstantKarmaGirl for being such an angst wizard. The last time I read this powerful angst was when I read my first fanfic, the legendary Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003.

Somewhere between the multitude of fanfics I'm currently reading, I've had time to read Pride And Prejudice (again) half way through now. I just love it so. <3 I also love Scissor Sisters' new album, especially the song Sex and Violence.

Exploding Head Syndrome

Yup, listening to The Cure (and pun totally intended). Unbelievably, I'm on sick leave. AGAIN! This time it's because I caught some sort of Romanian flu bug from my bf's cousin. He got sick while in Romania and I thought it wouldn't be that bad and I'd be safe. Yeah right. It was really fun having him here but after he left with my bf to visit some other relatives I got sick. I went to work the day after they left and it was perfectly normal, but that night my throat got sore and I was feeling a bit under the weather. I thought I'd be okay in the morning. Wrong. In the morning I was feeling really shitty and almost overslept but I got to work anyway, just to leave after an hour because I almost blacked out. Thank god my boss is really nice and understanding. I went straight to a nurse and got my sick leave and after that I've just spent the last three days holed up in the apartment, eating soup and watching Jane Austen movies. I really love Colin Firth as mr. Darcy, so hot. And I bought myself Tess of the D'Urbervilles as a cure, too. :D Oh god, Oliver Milburn is hot too. Damn, what is it with those guys? The sideburns? The waistcoats? The knee-length trousers with the flap closure? :D And of course Justine Waddell as Tess is so beautiful, especially in the final scenes of the movie, in the black and blue bustle dress, the hat and the veil... *sigh* The late 1800's was probably the best era of fashion.

Because I've been sick and really tired I haven't had the energy to write at all this time. Or do anything else, either. I missed two of my friends' bands, too. Now that I'm feeling better I should try. Otherwise I'll never get anything done.

Yay for progress!

I was reading some ff again today and when I stopped I suddenly felt really angsty and miserable. I'm not blaming the fic, I'm just being hormonal. :D Normally, this would suck, but now it just made it easier to write. I have now almost 3700 words and I'm so glad. I'm getting there! :D

I still need that pre-reader. I guess I need to just suck it up and ask someone and nevermind when I get rejected. I know it's probably not personal anyway, but it doesn't make it any easier. I wish I could ask some friend, and yeah, I could but none of them read fanfics so they lack some perspective... One of them would understand but she's too busy with her writing and stuff so it's kind of pointless. I know she could read it and give some sort of comment about it but not actual conversation. *sigh* This sucks, but I'll get back to writing now.

These Days

I feel like I'm a huge loser because I've done absolutely nothing lately. Except reading and some shopping. Now, I'm on sick leave because of my fucked up wrists (yes, both of them this time), and listening to Joy Division. I woke up to a thunderstorm, it was so loud it actually startled me awake. That was two hours ago and now it's like there never was a thunderstorm.

I'm glad it's not raining anymore because I have to go out in a few hours. I'm meeting my friends and we're going to make plans for a trip to London in September. I have no idea how I'll get the money but I've pulled that off before, so... They will appear somehow. I really want to go to London, last time was so much fun and now it would be just us girls going. It would be a Monday to Thursday trip. I can't wait. I definitely want to go to Victoria and Albert Museum, I really want to see the fashion collections. Aah, the original 19th century corsets... *swoons*

I managed to do the photo album barely in time. Actually, I finished it off in the car so I haven't got a single picture of it. I'm going to ask my friend if she could maybe scan it for me because I have no idea when I'll be seeing her next.

Since I'm now on sick leave I actually have time to write and I plan on doing exactly that, after I get home from our little meeting with the girls. It has been really annoying to want to write but have no time or energy to do that. Every time I've had some creative drive in me, I've been too tired to make use of it. I haven't been able to organize my thoughts at all. I got a suggestion for betas from a sweet lady named kdc2239. She told me she's been using the services of Project Team Beta and I'll probably contact them too at some point. I would love to have a pre-reader, though.

I haven't been writing, but I did find an amazing story I immediately fell in love with. It's The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow. I have a hard time finding words to describe the effect that story had in me. It is haunting, dream-like, sad, bittersweet. It's not finished, though, and the author said she doesn't know when she'll be able to continue with it because it's so emotionally draining to write it. No wonder, it's emotionally draining to read it too. I probably cried the whole time I read it, but it was so worth it. I was listening to Blonde Redhead and it just fit the mood perfectly and made it even more captivating.

My fiancé's second cousin is coming on Sunday to stay here for a few days. He's from Canada and I've never even seen him except in pictures, so it'll be interesting to meet him. I think we'll drag him to see a couple of bands at a club my friends are organizing. Too bad it's in a shitty punk rock bar, I don't really like the place. It's not that bad, but compared to the other clubs they organize it's pretty lame. I would've wanted to take him to a lot better club held in a nice gay bar this Saturday but he's not here before Sunday evening. I bet we'll be busy entertaining him while he's here because it's his first time, so all the more reason to write NOW.


But now I need to get ready for our little get-together with my lovely girls.