Long time no see, huh?

Life has been... interesting.

I've been busy with work, reading (loads of slash + Black Dagger Brotherhood, which I LOVED), crafty things and personal drama (including insomnia) and I haven't had the energy or time to post anything here.

That pretty much sums up what I've been doing lately, besides avoiding people and reality. I haven't written much, I'm still stuck on Chapter 2. Maybe I can soon climb up from this fucking hole I've made my home.

I've met some lovely people from the fandom (yeah, you Tweeties) and I'd like to tell you all that I just effin' love you.


Also, the lovely gals (TwistedInMasen and The Wayward Pushers) created a new forum for all of us fangirls (or fang girls) to play in: Twisted In Fic. Go check it out!

These Days

I feel like I'm a huge loser because I've done absolutely nothing lately. Except reading and some shopping. Now, I'm on sick leave because of my fucked up wrists (yes, both of them this time), and listening to Joy Division. I woke up to a thunderstorm, it was so loud it actually startled me awake. That was two hours ago and now it's like there never was a thunderstorm.

I'm glad it's not raining anymore because I have to go out in a few hours. I'm meeting my friends and we're going to make plans for a trip to London in September. I have no idea how I'll get the money but I've pulled that off before, so... They will appear somehow. I really want to go to London, last time was so much fun and now it would be just us girls going. It would be a Monday to Thursday trip. I can't wait. I definitely want to go to Victoria and Albert Museum, I really want to see the fashion collections. Aah, the original 19th century corsets... *swoons*

I managed to do the photo album barely in time. Actually, I finished it off in the car so I haven't got a single picture of it. I'm going to ask my friend if she could maybe scan it for me because I have no idea when I'll be seeing her next.

Since I'm now on sick leave I actually have time to write and I plan on doing exactly that, after I get home from our little meeting with the girls. It has been really annoying to want to write but have no time or energy to do that. Every time I've had some creative drive in me, I've been too tired to make use of it. I haven't been able to organize my thoughts at all. I got a suggestion for betas from a sweet lady named kdc2239. She told me she's been using the services of Project Team Beta and I'll probably contact them too at some point. I would love to have a pre-reader, though.

I haven't been writing, but I did find an amazing story I immediately fell in love with. It's The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow. I have a hard time finding words to describe the effect that story had in me. It is haunting, dream-like, sad, bittersweet. It's not finished, though, and the author said she doesn't know when she'll be able to continue with it because it's so emotionally draining to write it. No wonder, it's emotionally draining to read it too. I probably cried the whole time I read it, but it was so worth it. I was listening to Blonde Redhead and it just fit the mood perfectly and made it even more captivating.

My fiancé's second cousin is coming on Sunday to stay here for a few days. He's from Canada and I've never even seen him except in pictures, so it'll be interesting to meet him. I think we'll drag him to see a couple of bands at a club my friends are organizing. Too bad it's in a shitty punk rock bar, I don't really like the place. It's not that bad, but compared to the other clubs they organize it's pretty lame. I would've wanted to take him to a lot better club held in a nice gay bar this Saturday but he's not here before Sunday evening. I bet we'll be busy entertaining him while he's here because it's his first time, so all the more reason to write NOW.


But now I need to get ready for our little get-together with my lovely girls.

03:07 am

Yeah, it's really late. Or early, whatever. I've been really, really busy lately with work and a festival (I had my 5 day summer vacation from work) and the wedding, mostly the wedding gift I've been making. It's not finished yet and the wedding's tomorrow...

I haven't had time to write even when I've wanted to, so the story's going nowhere at the moment. Now, I'm drinking crappy absinthe with Mountain Dew and I may be a little tipsy (bad girl...) and reading some fanfiction (Summer of Salt by lola-pops, it's really good and fits the horribly hot weather that's been plaguing us Northern Europeans lately). I should really go to sleep because, as I stated above, my friend has her wedding tomorrow and I still need to finish the photo album I'm making for her and get ready on time, too. I'm not 100% happy how it turned out (I have all the pages and photo frames ready, all I need to do is bind them into a book) but maybe I can live with it... I really hope they like it. I've spent quite many hours making it.

The other thing that's been keeping me busy lately was Lumous Gothic Festival, which was fun, but exhausting. Partyparty from Thursday to Sunday. I had to make some clothes for that. I made a black PVC pencil skirt with piping for me, and I was supposed to make a similar skirt for my friend, but I totally ran out of time, because I resized a dress for her too (-8 cm) and it took a lot more time than I anticipated... We also made hair accessories together and I ended up making one for her, since she just looked so desperate. :D Then I had to resize a skirt for another friend (+ 10cm). I also resized two dresses and a shirt for myself. I made earrings too; very simple but quite nice looking. I might post a picture later.

I really, really wish I had time and energy to write. Lately, it's been awfully hot here and that takes all the energy out of me. Especially when I have to work. It's been about +33°C/+91°F here and that's HOT. Way too much for me. I can't sleep when it's +29°C/84°F inside and working in these temperatures is just horrible. I'm sweating even when I'm just sitting at the computer... >___> That sucks. Actually, tonight has been the coolest night in two weeks and I'm so glad.

My wrist is still sore, after three weeks. I really should go to the doctor so I could get sick leave. That would also give me a chance to write again. I want to write so bad... Nowadays I'm always exhausted after work so no luck there. Obviously, I'm rambling again, so maybe I'll just stop writing this and go smoke a cigarette, have some more awful fake absinthe (wtf - it doesn't turn milky when you add water!) and then go to sleep. My dear fiancé is working a night shift so I'm all alone now. I'm pathetic, I know. :D Oh yeah, it's almost four o'clock now... Damn.

More cupcake earrings and other stuff

Yay, I finally made the earrings I was supposed to make like two weeks ago. Well, since it's Monday, they just didn't turn out as good as I wanted them to. But I'll post the pics anyway.

This is the better pair of the two, I think. Well, maybe the other pair has actually better colors but as you can see, the black lines bled when I put the glaze on too thickly at first. :(

The first pair is on clear shrink plastic and the backside is painted with silver paint. The other pair is on white shrink plastic. Both are colored with sharpies. I made some experiments with the coloring and when I colored before putting them in the oven, the colors turned too dark to distinguish easily. I still haven't gotten my Caribbean Colors Sharpies which I suppose are more pastel colored.

Then there's the photo album I'm working on... My friend is getting married in a few weeks and I thought I'd make her a personalized photo album where they can put some pictures of their wedding (or whatever they want), mostly because I don't know her very well, but I really like her and I want to show that. I got the idea for the album from here. and I've been cutting and painting and drawing the photo frames and labels. I'm not using cereal boxes because we don't eat that crap really so I'm just using thick papers. Now I'll post just the picture that's going to be on the cover, because I'm kind of proud of it. I'm not good with Photoshop or anything like that but I managed to make a decent picture out of not so decent that I stole from my friend's Facebook page. It was the only picture of them two that I actually could use. So, here's the altered pic first that I printed and then traced on thicker white paper.

Yeah... My mad Photoshop skillz and all that. The heart is just directly from Paint. :D Aaanyway, the second picture is the one that I drew with a black Sharpie (I love my Sharpies). I corrected the heart since the top cut the guy's hat off. They're dressed in some 1800's costumes for a play. I could've scanned it but I was lazy and just took a picture with my phone, that's why it's so blurry.


And details.


I think they really look like them so I'm super happy.

My writing hasn't been as succesful as my crafting since I haven't actually written much at all. I did start the other story that's been on my mind but there's no progress in the other. I think I need some help. Someone to read them and discuss with me. I think I'll try to write tonight because I had some ideas in my mind at work. Of course I had a fucking busy day too so no chance to stop for a minute and scratch some notes on a piece of paper. *le sigh*

EDIT: Yeah, the picture placement is crap but I really have no desire to do this again so I'm just gonna let it slide... This time.

DESTROY!

The party last night was great. I don't have (yet) pictures of my costume, other than the piece of circuit board glued to my head, but I'll post the card I made. I just googled a robot picture and then traced it and colored it with Sharpies. Quite lame, but I like it anyway. I was in a bit of a hurry so it's not perfect.

I'm waiting for a friend to send me some pics of me in the "basic pleasure model" costume. I use the word costume loosely here, since all of the clothes came from my closet. It consisted of a white puffy sleeved blouse with black skulls, a pink ribbon bow on my neck, a black pinstriped pleated miniskirt with ruffle, over-knee socks and platform mary janes. I put my hair in pigtails and had huge false eyelashes on.

I got some compliments about my circuit board. ^__^

EDIT:

I just got some pictures, as well as transferred some from my phone. So, here comes.

And silence covers all

Yup, still silent in my head. Except for these annoying little thoughts I can't quite grasp.

I think I'll expand this blog to include all my crafty stuff too. I've been making some earrings again, They're not ready yet, but I'll post pictures when they are.

No work tomorrow, yay! :D My parents are coming to visit us before noon though, so no sleeping late. And a friend has his 32nd birthday tomorrow and the party is themed "Bring not toasters, be them" which includes all artificial intelligence, like androids and cyborgs and cylons and just plain old robots. I'll be a broken, doll-like cyborg. I'll make it look like I've been hit on the head and there's a piece of circuitboard sticking out and the wound is bleeding red glitter. :D But the best theme parties have zombies in them. <3 Nothing beats zombies, not even glitter-bleeding cyborgs.

A fresh start

I thought I'd create a new blog for myself. I'll probably post all my writing related rants here and keep my non-existant personal life in livejournal, where I'm known as ravenbride and my lj is friends-only.

Today I decided to start writing again after five years of empty head syndrome. I was working and I'm lucky my work needs minimum brain capacity because I had an Idea. Actually, I had two! Amazing. I could hear it in my head, what I'd write... And I swore I'd try to put it on paper. Well, technically not, since I do it on my computer. :D

I told my friend about my Ideas and she thought they sounded good. I've been trying to write for the last two hours but: NOTHING. Nothing comes out. Where did my Ideas go? I just can't start it. I know that if I just get a decent start, the rest will come eventually. I do feel a little uncertain about my abilities since it's been so long and I don't know if I have any talent at all. Now I feel like crap because I thought I really had something I wanted to write. I don't know if anyone will even read it since I'm not very active on FF.net, but I really hope someone will give me good (and I don't mean just positive, but something useful) feedback because I sure as hell will need it if I want to get better. Now I'll end this rant and TRY to write my super cool and awesome (yeah right) Ideas down.

But first, a pic I promised for the adorable SandyK, who has been an inspiration to me.

My cupcake earrings.